OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
