That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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