You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Randomize