The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I think pants incapable of making pants work
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
