Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize