8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
We talked him into tasing himself.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
