What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize