Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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