it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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