Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize