Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
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