Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I showed him my bush... on skype.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
