what day is it and did you see me today?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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