Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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