If i could tip my vagina, i would.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
me + whiskey = a bad person
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
