soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
