i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I just had sex on a roof
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Randomize
