Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
