Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I just found a bag of teeth...
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
