I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
