so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
