pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
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