I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
