i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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