You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
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