if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Randomize
