is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
My dick has a subreddit
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Randomize