..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Randomize