Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
