I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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