I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
