I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize