I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
