"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
