I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
