my sisters under your porch take her home
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
