so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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