i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
