with your own penis?
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
okay pat passed out under dana's car
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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