Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Randomize
