she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
