PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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