I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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