hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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