and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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