3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
