Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Randomize
