haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
