yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
