you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
