Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
