we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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