Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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