I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
