I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
my shit smells like andre
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
