Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
