i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
