Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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