it's too hot outside to masturbate.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I need to calm my uterus...
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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