Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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