Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize