we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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